Feeling a million times better than this morning, but what a struggle

I’ve just had lunch, and before that the physiotheraptist and I went for a spot-the-Christmas tree walking tour of the corridors of the ward. I walked unaided.

You did what?!, some are you are no doubt thinking. Well, it was in the plan to be up and walking about on Day 3 so things are just going to plan. Really, I’m no hero. However, if you’d seen me a couple of hours earlier, you’d never have thought me capable of such a thing. At that time I was honestly thinking that this part of the “journey” was much worse than anything I endured during chemo. I’m not going to bore you with the details but several taxing events happened this morning (some of which now don’t seem so taxing; it’s always the way) and I was really feeling there was no way I was going to get home this year, never mind possibly this week.

I was feeling so down that I texted my two sons who were about to leave the house to come and visit me to tell them not to come. That’s how bad it was. They’ll come later with their dad.

So what else can I do now that I couldn’t do when I woke up this morning? Most importantly, I can get out of and back into bed on my own (although I’ve only been back in once as I’m spending the day in the chair and keeping myself mobile by moving around the room from time to time). I can lift the water jug and tea pot and pour my own water and tea (so much less calling on the nurses), and I can go to the loo (the catheter came out this morning). And I’ve just leant down from the chair and picked something up of the floor, which would have been unimagineable yesterday. And obviously, I can now walk unaided.

Things are very tight round the abdomen join but I’m trying to stand up a little bit straighter every time I stand up. It is not easy.

Two drains came out yesterday. I still have two in, one in the underarm and one in the abdomen. The fluid drains into little bags and you carry those around with you in a plastic bag when you go walkies. You only forget you’re attached to them once.

So, massive strides today, but this morning was tough. With hindsight I probably took the setbacks harder than I needed to or should have, but it was what it was.

As for this afternoon, I’m off for another walk around the room, a friend is due to visit and then I’ve got a few episodes of Desert Island Discs lined up to listen to. 🙂

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7 thoughts on “Feeling a million times better than this morning, but what a struggle

    • By all accounts it sounds as though you are doing remarkably well. I’m sure it’s only natural to be too hard on yourself but we are only human and your body has gone through so much. When you look back at how well you have come you’ll be amazed. X

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  1. Excellent progress Maureen. This morning’s struggles are natural so soon after major surgery. Just hang onto how much better this afternoon was. It will get easier every day x

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  2. Yay, you sound like you’re making huge strides, and getting so much stronger every day! I think it’s totally normal to be down after major surgery, especially when you’re such an active person usually. The meditation gurus say not to fight these things, but rather to just acknowledge them and only then can you move on. Or that’s the theory anyway… It sounds like you’ve pulled yourself back up, though, which is great news. We’re all here rooting for you! xx

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  3. Dear Maureen, I feel for you. So sorry that yesterday was hard. Still, it’s amazing that you’re mobile and bending and lifting – hats off to you for your perseverance. Love to all your family and happy Christmas xxx

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